A Word with History and a Shared Family Inheritance

An article by Stella Bullo on family language, memory, and untranslatable affection.

Dr. Stella Bullo

“Arremangate”: how language carries care, memory, and unspoken bonds

What can a single word or sentence hold? Not in theory, but in the everyday moments when it slips out naturally. It could happen, perhaps, in passing between two people who know each other well, in the pause between a gesture and a glance. Can it carry history? Can it hold affection? Can it reach back through generations and land, intact, in the present?

A few days ago, my cousin came to visit. She is my mom’s sister’s daughter, and there is something almost innate about the gestures, silences, and small habits we share.

After lunch, I got up to do the dishes. Without thinking, I put my hands in the water without rolling up my sleeves. She looked at me sharply and said, in a dry and urgent tone: Arremangate.

I did. Instantly. Without thinking.

To anyone else, that word, said with no softener, no smile, no teasing, might have sounded a little harsh or bossy. Maybe even rude. But for us, it was not. It was a kind of password. A named gesture that pulled us both back into a shared way of being in the world.

As a linguist, I know more than well that language is not understood by what is said literally, but by how, when, and between whom it is said. What might sound abrupt or impolite from the outside can be a sign of deep trust from within. In my family, as in many others, there are ways of speaking that may sound blunt but are actually full of care. We do not soften what we say because we do not need to. What is said already carries a layer of history, affection, and shared language.

And in moments like that, what gets activated is not just linguistic understanding, but something deeper, an embodied kind of knowledge. Arremangate, roll up your sleeves, is not just an instruction. It is a quiet command wrapped in generational memory. It says: You know very well this is not how it is done.

That one word was not just a reminder to roll up my sleeves. It was a display of affection and care. Because when she said it, she was also saying: I am looking out for you, You matter to me, I see you as part of this shared fabric. And when I obeyed without hesitation, I was implicitly saying: I know, I come from there too, We are in this together.

My cousin’s mom is no longer here. Maybe that is why the word carried a trace of melancholy too. It was a kind of presence. A kind of continuity. And that is what language sometimes allows us to do, to speak without explaining. To let a single word, one others might label as blunt, become an embrace, an echo, an anchor.

Some words cannot be translated. Or should not be. Not because they lack a grammatical equivalent, but because the context that wraps around them is not translatable, only lived. Words like arremangate, in this kind of moment, carry history, connection, embodiment, and loss.

Because in that instant, a single word held memory, affection, and the weight of lives intertwined.

Arremángate. I love you too, coz.

And what about you? What word connects you to a shared family heritage?